“Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
What was the name of the first friend you ever made? What drew you to them in the first place? Is that person still in your life?
For most people, the answer to that last question is no. In fact, chances are, some of you found it absurd that you would even be asked to recall someone from so long ago when you’re not even friends with the same people from last year! The truth is that friendships aren’t what they used to be. The word ‘friend’ and even ‘love’ is thrown around so casually that someone can be rewarded with those honours one day and by the next, they are practically strangers. A friend seems to be a temporary position given to anyone that is appealing in the moment, without careful thought or hesitation.
But is that how God ordained it? By the examples of friendship in the Bible, we can be sure that this bond was meant to be something powerful and even life saving:
- Ruth and Naomi: a friendship that stood the test of loss and depression. Ruth loyally stood by Naomi even though she was not obligated to because she understood that a friend is loyal and loving at all times, especially in times of adversity. (Proverbs 17:17)
- Abram and Lot: a friendship of sacrifice and generosity, on the part of Abram. (Genesis 14:14) Abram knew that even though he and Lot had parted ways, he could never forsake his friend. (Proverbs 27:10)
- Jonathan and David: a friendship that thrived amidst the looming danger of David’s persecution at the hands of Jonathan’s father, Saul. (1 Samuel 18). Jonathan will later be responsible for saving David’s life, because he loved David as he loved himself. (1 Samuel 20:17).
- Jesus and His disciples: a friendship that required commitment and obedience. (Matthew 10). And in the greatest illustration of friendship, Jesus laid down his life to save the lives his friends, and everyone. (John 15:13-14)
So we understand that this friendship thing is not something to be taken lightly. As Ecclesiastes says, it is better to have a friend in times of trouble that to be by yourself. It is important, not only to us, but to God.
What? God cares about my friendships?
He absolutely does! Just like how a loving father cares about who his child associates with, God has an interest in who your friends are. Why?
“Walk with the wise and become wise, associate with fools and get in trouble.” Proverbs 13:20
Whether we like it or not, the friends that we have influence us. Wise friends can persuade a person, especially one who is new to the faith, to make wise decisions. In the same way, foolish friends can be a hindrance in one’s walk with Christ. This is why the Lord wants us to keep good influences so that when we lose sight of the truth and lose sight of Him there is someone there to help us get back on track.
This does not mean that all our friends have to be Christians. Absolutely not! Even Jesus associated with persons who had questionable pasts (Matthew 9:9-10). In fact, you could end up being the only light in the life of someone who is still living in spiritual darkness.
Therefore, every decision to become friends with someone should be handled individually and with wisdom. As Proverbs 12:26 says “The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.” So we know that God doesn’t call us to be friends with everyone, but He does give us some advice on what is important in a friendship.
“As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” Proverbs 27:17
Friends should push each other to do better, to be better. Friends should be willing to pray for each other, be honest to each other and be accountable to each other. (James 5:16) A friend should encourage and be supportive without condoning sin or being partial. (Hebrews 10:24-25)
“Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character’.” 1 Corinthians 15:33
If your friend pressures you to do wrong, or if you do not do the right thing for fear of criticism, this friend is bad company and will corrupt you. Move on!
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32
Do not ruin good friendships by holding a grudge. Forgive quickly with the knowledge that no friend or friendship will be perfect and all will take work.
“Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will not be shaken. My victory and honour come from God alone. He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me.” Psalm 62:5-8
And possibly the best advice is that no matter how valuable friendship is, God will always be more important! Our hope should first and foremost be in the One who can never and will never leave us or forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:6)! He will be there when no one else is, as our first and best friend. So count on the Lord and He will come through for you, showing you who will make a good friend as you walk with Him and helping you let go of those that will hinder you.
The Nobility 